My Rising Sun

*Listening to: Only Hope - Switchfoot

I love to write.

Why am I not writing anymore lately?

I think, I care too much about what people would think, what would they 'know' or perceive from what I write that, I may not want it to be perceived as such? Then I felt as if I am not being true to myself. I want to write what I want. What I feel. I have slowly lost that 'side' of me. I feel sad. I want it back. Maybe minues the gloomy part, but I want that sensitive, compassionate and always craving for new inspiration Amanda.

There was a day just like any other, only this time, there was a sun. Rising in between my clouds in my sky. It was beautiful, it was uplifting. It was great to see light and feel warmness again. I guess I have longed for it so much that I ran towards it too soon. I must have got myself burnt.

And then I wonder..

If I really want a sun in my sky every single day? I don't dislike the rain. In fact I loved it more than anything. Sun is good when you feel cold. When you feel lost and you want some light. But without the rain and the clouds once in a while, I would never be able to cherish the sun as much. Now I miss the rain.

Soon I let go of the sun. And I leave it to the rainbow, breeze, birds and the bees. If it shall come again, it will. I won't run this time. I would love the rain, the sun, the clouds, storm, birds and bees all the same. What comes naturally, is what I want most.

(note: ignore whatever you've have read if you don't understand a thing. you may find it really ridiculous and lame. i just typed what came into my mind =) )















Redang, 03/05/2007, sunrise, at awe.