"Mmmm......",
leaked a soft purr from the depths of my throat...

The enticing aroma, so seductive and incredibly irresistible.

Despite my cautious sips,
fail it did to stop the burning sensations on the tip of my tongue;
Tiny gulps of bittersweet-ness sends a rush of heat through my body,
leaving a moment of warmth, comfort and calmness...

While a shot of clearance kicks in my head triggered a boost of energy,
and the subtle, almost an artificial intoxication envelopes me;
projecting little twinkles from my eyes that slowly shifted themselves gazing upon yours...






















"Chocolate, men, coffee - some things are better rich." ~Author Unknown

I want it to rain

I called it stopped.
Not just once,
Not just twice.
It was repeated from my lips...

Out of breath,
Out of redemption;
Partly helpless,
Partly still... very afraid.

With much disinclination,
From his physical strength,
From his inner desires;
He was much reluctant to let go...

Sadly,
Very sadly,
It wasn't because he wanted me for me;
He just wanted 'it'...
Just then,
Just there.

One of the many seven,
Has almost,
Very nearly,
Over taken me...

The one by the name of 'Lust',
Has graveled me greatly;
I had once again fallen,
To the hands of sin.

I could feel my insides sink,
I could feel the lump in my throat hard to swallow,
I could feel I am stopping something strong,
I could feel the weight I have increased...
To the scathe I have done to myself.

"Drive me home",
Guts spilled;
Uttered words I couldn't forgive my foolishness,
I left the car...
Finally.

Back in my own sanctuary,
Then I felt,
Like I could see,
My heart on the floor...

Covered in red,
Covered in pain;
Still beating...

This time,
I know,
I couldn't tear no more...

I reached for the window,
"I want it to rain",
I said;
Then I rested my soul,
And myself,
On my bed.

Eyes closed,
Thoughts fluctuated.

Then I heard,
Very sudden,
And very heavy patters...

It didn't help in making the sorrows on my face go away,
It didn't help in making the pain inside go away,
It certainly didn't and wouldn't help,
In making the wounds go away...
Ever.

But,
I felt...
A little,
Just a little...
Slightly,
Better...

Sketchy Sketches

I feel much better today.

Thank you for those who have been wishing and sending me "Get well soon" smses and all XP (now it sounded so serious pulak)

The fever has already subsided since yesterday, but the flu is still bad. Just hoping that the tonsils on my throat won't swell up again.
So I'm glad I managed to sketch something yesterday since it was raining heavily when I woke up so I didn't get to go online. I've been wanting to do that for soo long :)

So here they are, some random simple sketches.
Didn't know what to draw and had nothing specific on my mind. Did what I used to do back in college :P copying.... bah. what else? TT

I know I am no good in drawing using plain imagination. TT
Did the girl first, yes it's unfinished and I decided not to complete it :3
Reference taken from an ad by Chloe, Pedderzine - No.2: Harmony - autumn/winter collection

Oh yea the arms looked funny too. At first it was too long and then they were too skinny I think XD
Yea lar the proportion structure sucks too.. XP So let's focus on their faces instead. XD

Reference taken from magazine, Flaunt | 86 - Before The Fall - Josh Harnett

And yes, this is 'suppose' to be Josh Harnett. XD and this is definitely a 'WIP' (work-in-progress) so I'll definitely finish it, yes. *nods*

Artworks - adjusted lighting and colour on outlines in Photoshop CS2

My Lair.

Last term in our 'creative & marketing' class, we were told to write about our room but in a none descriptive way. "Tell it like how you would a story", Rico said. So here is mine..

This crack on the door, tells a story of a rebellious person behind it. While the angry note saying "KNOCK!!!" shouts at you. Thus the ambiance upon entering is far from what you might had in mind. The most important asset, is strangely a double-decker that only accommodates one. Frustratingly, it never fails to create another bump on the head. This, a closet-sized room had often been suspected to be the cause of her 'dwarf-height'. Nevertheless, she never gave in to trade for a larger, more spacious room. When the curtains are down, the walls are cool, it feels like heaven to sleep in.
To recall, it's been a while since the curtains were up. The last time, it was the existence of a feline mother-and-child right outside the window. It brought a whole new life to this room. It was a story of its own to bring smiles on the face of this girl living next to them. She watched and waited everyday and sometimes even night. Hoping to be small and invisible enough to not catch their sight. Sadly the kitten did not last long enough to widen her smile. Nevertheless, this tiny space had compiled tears, laughter and secrets that reflects more than anything about her inside-out.





































































'Angel of my god, My gurdian dear,
To whom gods love entrusts me here,
Ever this night be at my side,
To light and guard, To rule and guide.
Amen.'

A little prayer someone once taught me.

















Prints on my comforter. If you 'get' it =)




















Oh, and this.. if you see what I see ^^ *lol*

Rain

Pitter Patter

As a crease of light slowly seeps in,
From the darkness of slumber;
And a few blinks to clear my mind,
A soothing pitter patter whispered in my ear.

Kittyfish Awaits.

Paint Me

Paint me with your fingers,
So our passion lingers.

Trace my every outline,
With our love so divine.

Never will I forget,
The very sweet moments we had;
No matter how many days shall they pass by,
I'll miss and love, Till the day I die.

Slumberless Inspiration

"I Do... I Really Did"

The chimes of the wedding bells,
Seemed so near;
The cheering crowd,
Seemed so familiar.

It was like yesterday I felt so bold,
It was like yesterday I felt so sure;
Here I waited,
As we promised.

Once the sun sets,
You said you'll be here;
Once the sun sets,
I ran here.

This empty house you pointed,
This very room we decided;
This dress I chose to be in when I escaped,
This dress, is the dress I chose to say "I Do" to you.

Where are you?
Where were you?
Just a letter saying "I'll be late",
Even the bird who delievered is gone and dead.

I waited,
I am still waiting.

In this empty house you pointed,
This very room we decided;
This dress I chose to be in when I escaped,
This dress, is the dress I chose to say "I Do" to you.

Poem inspired by this beautiful piece of artwork by Blackeri, originally named >> Love.
Do view it, or else you may not know what the hell am i saying.. thnk u.. =)

I couldn't sleep. It has been nights. It has been insane. At first, I wouldn't sleep until I see light from the window... until the sun rises. Now, I don't sleep at all... -_-" Back to how it used to be like when term starts again. It's crazy. I don't know what's wrong with me. Not that I don't want to sleep, I'm freaking tired. Not feeling too well even, but i just cant. Insomnia? Perhaps. It has been there for ages then.

So i browsed DA (Deviantart). After some silly website games. They could be quite fun... (They are safe Rufus dear, if u're reading this. don't worry k? *muax*) So, one of my favourite digital painter, Blackeri has a new submission. Her paintings are always great and mostly has a story behind them. My favourite would be her series of "The Seven Deadly Sins". Do check em out. But her new one, "Love", is very intriguing... Especially when she herself skipped the aprt of explaining it ^^ That makes it really fun to use your imagination to sum tings up, have your interpretation, your own story. Lovely. Loved it.

But honestly, that piece i wrote... I wouldn't really call it complete. It's not even finalised. It's a spontaneous piece of rough imagination and idea of it. If only one day, i would have better patience in sitting down and refining, sharpening the words nicely and resubmit it. I wonder why don't i have the patient to write like that anymore. sigh. Disappointing. Eventhough "Kay" always askes me why am i not writing lately and all.. it's quite sad. *hits own head* X3

It's Because.

*note: below is a poem I'm reposting.
reasons: i)because it's lovely.
ii)because it's meaningful
iii)because it's related to what it is below.

Curled up in darkness,
She's been.
Discovering the meaning of lonliness,
She has.
Grieving in isolation,
She found comfort.

She began staring at walls,
She wandered in her dreams & nightmares.

She saw moving dark images,
She made friends with Shadow.

Shadow was her friend,
Shadow was her comfort.
Shadow was her guardian,
Shadow was her love.

It was mutual,
It was true.

They were inseperable,
It was a connection between two hearts.

Kittyfish felt contented,
Her world was lighted.
Kittyfish was nurtured with warmth,
She was in love.

Her urge grew,
She wanted it all,
She wanted to withdraw Shadow.

In that realm they found joy,
In that darkroom they found light.
In Shadow, she found a beautiful soul,
In Kittyfish, Shadow found ... ?

************************************************************************************

It's because I believe.
It's because I want it.
It's because of you.
It's because of you finding what's in me.
It's more than fictional.
It's a dream come true.

I have to be strong.
I have to believe.
I have to strive.
I have to fight.

But I can't hurt no one.
I can't bear to.
Because they love me.
No.
Because I love them.












** they wouldn't make any sense if you don't understand what it is really about and what is really going on deeply within something I call.... my life. ( as cliched as it may sound.)
but then again.. trust me.. you really.. wouldn't understand. because I wonder if i do so myself.
oh, what the heck. =)