Happy Person

People always tell me..

"Manda, smile."
"you look really pretty when u do that u know?"
"why do u always look so sad?"

Maybe.. I'm really, not a happy person.
Do they actually think that I choose to be that way? That I actually enjoy being unhappy?
Maybe.. a part of me do..
Maybe.. He's right, I'm just easily overpowered by my own feelings. And let them take over me.
But it's not like I love it. It's no fun.
It's tiring. Depressing. Cold and lonely. Eventhough there are people out there concerning about me.. I'll still feel alone and sad. Because I'm being pessimistic?
or again..
Maybe.. This is just me.. Not an excuse to linger in negativity and avoid resposibilities.. but.. it can be really inspiring. Maybe.. I'm just.. eccentric.

Alot of artists, designers are I believe. These artistic people can be simply weird. Probably they just don't use left brains as often so.. yea.. That makes them really different.
But deep inside.. They are human too u noe?
They breath like u do.. and have feelings like everyone. They're just slightly different. Human beings are being molded to adapt to the norms. They have perceptions like, "people should live like this, guys should behave like this, girls should wear like that, so things like such.."

Who said so? Who told u it's wrong to do it differently? Who is there to tell what is really right and wrong anyway? Who? What is right and wrong then? Who is there to prove anything really?

Just because "they" do so.. it doesn't mean that it's right and everybody else should follow.

*before i get carried away..*

Maybe.. one of the reason.. (simplest reason i could give u, my dear..) is that.. i may not like how my eyes squints when i laugh too hard.

Secondly, I am a person who wouldn't stop thinking and worries a whole damn lot from top to bottom, left to right A to Z. It's just me to worry and hope for everything to go right and wallows when things doesn't. Annoying?

AT LEAST. At least.. I'm aware of this. And I know it's bad. And I try very hard to change. but then again.. sometimes i wonder..

why am i even changing?

for what?

for who?

why?

Is it wrong really?
Who said so?

Maybe.. I'm not doing it for myself anymore.. I'm doing for people i love.. That's why. I love them. They'll be devastated to see me so sad. And i love them therefore i don't want them to be this way. Be happy for someone.